


The Hero They Deserve

by dinkywinkle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, ワンパンマン | One-Punch Man
Genre: But it is One-Punch Man, Gen, Not Really Crack, OotP AU, POV Alternating, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28505484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinkywinkle/pseuds/dinkywinkle
Summary: When Genos is assigned a mission to magical Britain, of course, Saitama tags along. Even a hero for fun deserves a vacation.Considering how the magical world has treated Harry Potter, they deserve saving à la Saitama.
Comments: 28
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

He didn't think that any place could look more desolate than City Z, but Grimmauld Place could easily give his hometown a run for its money. 

" _Sensei, the Hero Association mentioned that someone would meet us outside number 12, but I only see 11 and 13_ ", says Genos as he scans the houses on the street, " _and most of these houses seem deserted_."

" _Genos, there is a number 12 right there, between 11 and 13, though it looks like it's within some weird orange bubble_ ," says Saitama as he reconsiders his vacation destination. He probably should have picked somewhere warmer. The snow makes the street look like a frozen wasteland instead of the winter wonderland he had imagined when he decided to tag along with Genos to London. 

" _Sensei, I don't see anything there, but now that I'm looking for it, I can detect an energy barrier between the two houses_." 

" _Come on then, let's head inside, it's freezing out here_ ," grouses Saitama as he heads toward the orange bubble. It seems to be buzzing, but he can't be bothered to figure out what it is. He walks right through it and rings the doorbell. They better open the door in the next few seconds, or else he's heading straight back to Heathrow and catching the first flight to City Z. Maybe it's not too late to join King's Christmas gaming marathon.

He hears a lot of shrieking from the other side of the door, and a frazzled looking man opens the door yelling, "How many times have I told you all not to ring the doorbell? It takes forever to shut that harp- Who the bloody hell are you supposed to be?!"

Saitama barely scraped through his English lessons in high school and university, and he can hardly understand the wild-eyed man. Though judging by the tone, he should probably let Genos explain. 

" _Genos-_ ", wait, where's Genos? He turns around and sees Genos still standing on the street, next to an old man who's staring at him in bewilderment. He's pretty sure he should be the one staring, considering that the man is wearing a dress of some sort. Is it normal for men to wear dresses in London? Maybe he's a hero, and it's his outfit. Either way, Saitama doesn't judge, to each his own. 

The man pulls himself together and speaks to Genos, and they both start walking towards the door. Genos looks slightly dazed, but it's probably the cold getting to his wiring. He can't imagine that melting snow is good news for a cyborg.

" _Sensei, I couldn't see the house before Mr Dumbledore told me the address. He says it's protected by magic, and that you shouldn't have been able to find it without him_." 

Magic? Do they mean the same magic as in Magical Heartbeat Sisters? That sounds like it could be fun. Maybe this vacation wasn't that bad after all. 

The old man is still intently looking at him, and Saitama stares back. Maybe he can try out his English. 

"Hello, my name is Saitama. Nice to meet you", he says to both the men standing on the stoop. 

That didn't sound too bad. Though, there begins and ends Saitama's familiarity with the language.

"Hello Saitama, it's a pleasure to meet you too. My name is Albus Dumbledore, and this is Sirius Black," the wild-eyed man waves at him, "He has graciously opened up his home so it can act as headquarters for the coming war. Please, let's head inside and warm ourselves with some tea and what smells like Molly's delicious apple tarts."

Saitama is quite sure they introduced themselves, but the rest might as well have been gibberish. If it's anything important, he's sure Genos can fill him in later. He follows them inside. 

The inside of the house is dark and dingy, but he can smell something hot baking in the oven, and he gladly follows the procession into the kitchen.

There seems to be an entire clan of redheads seated around the table and a few others. He lets Genos do all the talking as he sits at the table, and is happy to see a teacup being floated towards him by the red-haired woman near the oven. Maybe magic works the same way as ESP, and all of these people are ESPers like Tornado and Blizzard. If that's the case, he doesn't understand why Tornado didn't get sent on this assignment. The inner workings of the Hero Association are forever a mystery to him.

He's happily enjoying his tea and apple tart when Genos looks up from his conversation with the old man and interrupts him, " _Sensei, I forgot to ask you before we left, how is your English?"_

_"Pretty bad, I seem to have forgotten everything and even the words I recognise sound strange."_

_"As I suspected then. Mr Dumbledore wants to know if he can use his magic on you so you can understand him and vice versa. He wants to talk to you about the orange bubble you saw."_

_"They can do that? That would be useful. King has some games that are in English. Maybe now I can play them too."_

_"_ Go ahead, Mr Dumbledore, my teacher does not object to you casting magic on him." 

Saitama waits impatiently as the man pulls out what looks like a knobby tree branch and sends a beam of light straight at him. It splashes against him, and he doesn't feel any different.

" _Genos, quick, say something in English_."

"I am happy that you could join me on this trip, _Sensei_."

Of course, it doesn't work. Life isn't meant to be easy. He'll have to muddle through those games, and this time, he has a good excuse when King beats him.

" _Ask if he knows any other spells that might work, this was a bust_." 

The old man has been staring at Genos and him with his mouth hanging open. He seems easily shocked. Saitama hopes he doesn't have a heart condition or something. He rallies and sends another jet at Saitama and says, "Do you understand what I am saying now?" 

He can imagine what the question is and says, "No".

The old man again points the stick at him and lets loose a barrage of coloured lights as he says strange words he's pretty sure are not even English anymore like Tantallegra, Rictusempra, Petrificus Totalus and Stupefy. They splash against him like the first one. Is he supposed to keep sitting, or does it work better if he stands? He might as well try, so he pushes the chair back and stands. 

Except, everyone in the room now seems to be staring at him in shock. Maybe it's some sort of cultural thing he doesn't get? Though, he does get those disbelieving stares even back home, so he's not too sure. 


	2. Chapter 2

This year, Harry has been forced to participate in the travesty that was the Triwizard Tournament, and then watch Cedric die as Voldemort gets resurrected. He has been shipped off to the Dursley's without any news or even proper letters from his friends. He has been attacked by dementors and almost expelled for defending himself and Dudley. He has been passed over for Prefect for no discernable reason other than Dumbledore not trusting him anymore. He's been called an attention-seeking liar and even plain crazy. He's been subjected to Umbridge and her "detentions". Was going through puberty not painful enough that life had to throw all this at him?!

And of course, to top off the wonderful year, he's turned into a snake and attacked his best friend's dad. He believes Ginny, Hermione and Ron when they tell him he's not possessed but he doesn't think that's much of a relief. It doesn't change the fact that Voldemort is back or that the Ministry and majority of the magical population still think he's a lying lunatic. 

The only silver lining is that Mr Weasley is getting better and Harry gets to spend the holiday with Sirius. Everyone who's been staying at Grimmauld Place has congregated around the kitchen table to enjoy a cup of tea before an Order meeting. The other Order members have been trickling in, and Harry and the others are hoping to gather any information they can before they get shooed away. 

The doorbell rings setting Mrs Black off again, and Sirius gets up to wrestle the curtains of his mother's portrait. After a few minutes, Sirius brings in Dumbledore and two foreign-looking men. Is one of them a robot?! Harry is pretty sure he saw a character who had all mechanical parts in one of Dudley's comics.

The other man has a shiny bald head that looks like it would reflect any spells cast at it. Harry instantly feels ashamed of himself for thinking such uncharitable thoughts about someone he doesn't even know. 

Dumbledore doesn't introduce the men and keeps chatting with the robot in low tones, keeping with the theme of keeping them all in the dark. Too bad they are on the opposite side of the table, or Harry could have eavesdropped.

The bald man doesn't seem interested in talking to any of them and keeps eating. Then the robot starts talking to the bald man in what sounds like Japanese. Harry's not sure though, as he only heard Japanese spoken once on some karate show Dudley was watching on the telly. 

Then Dumbledore non-verbally casts a spell at the man, and it doesn't seem to have any visible effect. It's not like Harry knows what spell it is, so it probably worked. He could never imagine someone like Dumbledore getting a spell wrong. He turns to continue his conversation with Tonks when Dumbledore starts casting spells at the bald man out loud, starting with simple hexes. 

What the heck is going on? None of the spells seems to affect the man, and there isn't any shield in front of him. Maybe he was right, and the shiny head might be repelling magic! Finally, Dumbledore casts a stunner at the bald man. He continues to stare mildly at Dumbledore and suddenly stands up and looks around. 

Harry sees that everyone else in the room has been watching the one-sided duel and is looking just as baffled as he is. That wouldn't have bothered Harry except Dumbledore is also gaping at the bald man with his wand still pointing at him.

The bald man turns to the robot, " _Genos, I don't think any of these new spells worked either. You might have to keep translating for us_." 

Mrs Weasley belatedly realises the kids are in the room and tries to make them leave. "Go on, you lot, its time for the Order meeting. I'll call you down for dinner."

"Like hell, we're leaving now," argues Ron, "we want to know what's going on too! How is his bald head reflecting spells?"'

Harry is glad he wasn't the only one who jumped to that conclusion.

Mrs Weasley turns a furious shade of red, "Ron! You know better than to say such things. Now get upstairs to your rooms and stay there."

Harry knows its a lost cause to argue now and trudges out the door with the others. He thought Fred and George would try to stay, but they walk out last and close the door behind them. 

Once they all pile into Harry and Ron's room, the twins gleefully pull out a pair of Extendable Ears, "We thought the shock of that spectacle might make mum forget to charm the door against these and it looks like she has forgotten." 

Finally, some good news! They crowd around the pair and try to listen in on the conversation downstairs.

"-an start the meeting now as Minerva and Severus won't be joining us today. I'm sure all of you are wondering who these gentlemen are. Please welcome Genos and Saitama from the Hero Association."

"Albus, what in the world is the Hero Association? I don't think any of us has heard of it."

"I reached out to an old friend of mine, Professor Tanaka, this summer and told him we might have a war on our hands soon. He offered to send someone to help us from the Hero Association. The Association, from what I understand, has enlisted the help of talented individuals called Heroes. These heroes work to save people from natural disasters and monsters."

"What monsters? Do you mean magical creatures?"

"Some might have been magical, but many of the monsters we've come across are the result of evolution, mutation, or genetic experimentation." That must be the robot as no one recognises the voice.

"Oh, if they're not magical, they probably weren't that dangerous."

"We've encountered some that have destroyed multiple cities."

"Bloody hell! Did he say cities?", yelps Ron. Hermione shushes him. Not that there's any point, as all conversation has come to a standstill downstairs.

After a small eternity, Kingsley asks, "So how many Heroes does it take to stop such a monster?"

"That depends on the Heroes. There are Heroes of varying ranks based on their power. Not that these ranks mean much. Though, to give you a rough idea, it would take one S-rank hero or 9-11 A-rank heroes, or around 25 B-rank heroes to deal with this type of monster."

Silence again. Where are these people from that such monsters are running amok? And how powerful are these S-rank Heroes that they can take them down by themselves? It ordinarily takes ten wizards to subdue a wild dragon, and even dragons don't have the capacity for destruction that these monsters sound like they have. 

"Right.." says Tonks, sounding faint, "So all of these heroes have magic then?"

"No. I haven't heard of any heroes using magic, but if magic is similar to ESP, we have a few heroes who use it."

"But your teacher seems resistant to my spells, so he practices some form of magic, doesn't he?"

"I don't think _Sensei-_ sorry, I mean my teacher _,_ has any magic, but he is the strongest man I know. Maybe that has something to do with it." 

"Is anyone else in need of some Firewhiskey?" Sirius asks sounding strained. 

"Hm, we might need to know more about your skills if you are to help us against Voldemort."

"Yes, we need a debrief of the current situation as well. The Hero Association didn't have the exact details for this mission."

Ha, Harry thinks bitterly, good luck with that! 

"Of course, I can give you the details later in private as we seem to have a few non-members listening in on this conversation."

"Fred! George!" bellows Mrs Weasley and all sound cuts off from the Extendable Ears.

"Forge, maybe we need a self-destruct feature on these so we don't leave behind any evidence."

"Right you are, Gred, let's get right on that."

The twins apparate out and leave the others blinking at each other. 

"So," starts Ginny, "does this mean we have a better chance of winning now?"

Ron, being used to thinking strategically, answers, "It's hard to say, innit? They may be strong, but this war isn't just about physically defeating Vo-Voldemort. There's the Death Eaters and also the damage they can do at the Ministry."

"Yes, but most of these problems are easier to deal with if Voldemort is gone, isn't it?" says Harry, looking around for support. 

"I don't know, Harry, but you're assuming that they can defeat him. We don't know for sure", Hermione says hesitantly.

"Anyway, mate, I can't wait to find out what they can do!", grins Ron, cheering them all up with that thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Genos isn't too happy about being assigned a mission so far from home. He usually doesn't mind the work he does for the Hero Association because one, he gets stronger and two, there's always a chance he might run into the cyborg who destroyed his village. Now that he's now on the opposite side of the planet, he doesn't think there's a chance of the latter happening. Though thanks to Sensei joining him, he can keep learning and get stronger. 

He's still a bit on the fence about the magic thing. It looks like it might be useful, especially with them being able to hide a whole house and all but no one here seems very strong. Of course, Genos knows better than to judge them superficially. Just look at the way everyone dismisses Sensei after one look. But as the meeting drags on, he's starting to think his first impression of them might have been correct. 

They seem to be a rag-tag vigilante group called the Order of The Phoenix consisting mostly of civilians and a few law enforcement officers led by Mr Dumbledore, a school headmaster. They are fighting a terrorist organisation that has resurfaced, but their government does not acknowledge its existence. The last war waged by this terrorist organisation led to the deaths of a substantial part of the magical population. The Order fought against them, and the war ended with the presumed death of the terrorist leader, Voldemort. Mr Dumbledore said that this Voldemort was defeated by an infant, but he probably misunderstood that part. English can be quite confusing at times. Maybe he should ask for that translation charm. 

" _ Sensei, to summarise, there is one bad guy who has less than fifty minions who want to wreak havoc. The people here are civilians and are trying to fight them _ " translates Genos in less than 20 seconds, knowing that Sensei prefers brevity. 

_ "Why do they need an S-rank hero for such a low-level mission?" _

_ "I think it has something to do with their magic, Sensei." _

_ "Well, take care of it so we can go sightseeing soon, Genos." _

" _ Yes, Sensei _ ."

"So what does your teacher think of the situation, my boy?" asks Mr Dumbledore as Genos turns to him. 

"He would prefer it if I dealt with the situation as soon as possible. He is here on vacation and would like to go sightseeing soon" explains Genos. 

Mr Dumbledore does not look happy. Maybe this is not a good time of the year for sightseeing. He would hate it if this ruined Sensei's vacation. 

"I'm not sure that it's as easy as that, Genos. We are right now in a precarious situation. Though Voldemort is back, he has not made any overt moves and has refrained from the large scale attacks that characterised the last war. Due to this, the Ministry and the magical population are convinced that there is no threat. How do we get people to fight an enemy that they refuse to see?"

_ "Sensei, Mr Dumbledore says that there have been no public attacks so far, so the people don't believe there is a problem."  _

_ "What does it matter if people believe them or not? They still need to be protected, don't they?"  _

Genos is awestruck by this piece of wisdom from his Sensei and whips out his notebook to jot it down. He then proceeds to enlighten the others, and Mr Dumbledore looks as impressed as Genos feels.

"Yes, of course. Your sensei is a wise man, Genos. This is exactly why the Order has been reinstated. Now that you've learnt a bit about what we face, do you think you could tell us about your skills? It would be easier to strategise if we knew what you are capable of."

"Yes, of course. I am a cyborg, so most of what you see are mechatronic parts. That gives me more strength, speed and firepower than is normal for the average human. I can print out the stats for you if you like."

"So what you're saying is that not only are you a muggle, but you're barely even human?" exclaims Mr Black. 

"You got that right, Black, I'm not sure what to make of it. I don't think I've seen such sophisticated machinery even in the muggle world" says the man who looks like he might be a cyborg too if his spinning electric-blue eye is any indication. 

"I'm not sure what a muggle is. I almost died in an attack on my village, but Dr Kuseno saved me by turning me into a cyborg."

"Apologies Genos, muggle means non-magical" Mr Dumbledore explains to him. "We haven't met anyone else like you, so we don't know how magic would affect you. As a rule, magic does not mix well with muggle technology. Have you felt any ill-effects since you arrived here?"

Genos doesn't think there have been any problems, but he runs a full system scan. Everything seems to be in order, so that's one less thing to worry about.

"There is no interference from the magic here, so I should be able to fight in magical areas."

"Maybe we can have a duel, Dumbledore" says the cyborg-looking guy.

"Yes, that might be the best way to go forward, Alastor" replies Mr Dumbledore.

Now Genos can finally see how strong magic is. He hopes he can pick something up from them and get stronger. 

"Yes, I would like that too. So where would we have this spar?" 

"There's a duelling room on the third floor," Mr Black says, "but I haven't checked the wards on it."

"We can't spar indoors" Genos puts a stopper on that idea immediately. "Just my secondary canons would blow up the entire street."

Everyone is staring at him again. Was it something he said? He wishes that the translation spell had worked on Sensei, who's now starting on his third tart.


	4. Chapter 4

Albus Dumbledore never counted himself as one of those old men who thought that their advanced age meant they had seen everything and that they always knew better. However, over time, he had started to become complacent. He thought all his accomplishments meant that there was very little that could surprise him. So, it had come as a rude shock when a little over two years ago he realised that Voldemort had made horcruxes. It had confirmed his fear that Voldemort was not completely dead and that one day he would return. 

Since then, Albus had begun preparing for a war that would start anytime. When he learned of Sirius' innocence, he again was bewildered that he had missed something so vital, but he chalked it up to the folly of the Marauders' youth and a corrupt Ministry. However, when Voldemort returned at the end of the Triwizard Tournament, Albus was vindicated. He had been right, and the war would resume. He had immediately gotten the Order back together and secured Grimmauld Place for their use. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice and so, this time, Albus was the Secret Keeper for headquarters. He had also started to reach out to all his old friends and acquaintances from the ICW to aid the Order in whatever way they could. He had been pleased when many had promised to help in the war effort, and Professor Tanaka had gone the extra mile and sent someone to help them directly. 

As Professor Tanaka was a squib and not actively involved in the magical community, Albus hadn't expected much. When he had apparated to Grimmauld Place to welcome his guests, he had in no way expected to see that someone had waltzed past the Fidelius Charm and other wards like they didn't even exist. He was, once again, forced to realise that there were still many things which could surprise him despite his vast knowledge and experience. And that was just the start of the surprises from his two guests, Genos and Saitama. He was now left wondering how one of the Order could duel someone who could supposedly destroy entire streets with little effort. 

"What do you mean, the entire street?" yelps Sirius.

"If magic can shield against a 50 kiloton explosion, we could have a spar indoors. Even then, I'm not too sure it's the safest option," Genos replies. 

"So where do you generally spar, Genos?" asks Albus before anyone else can jump in and demand more explanations about the muggle terms. 

"I can't say I get the chance to spar often, but when Sensei and I have a bout, it's usually far from people, in a desert or valley. Are there any such places close by?"

"There's an abandoned quarry outside of Hutton that we might use. I can go now, and check if there is anyone about and set up a few muggle repelling wards. Best to have the spar tomorrow morning so I can be sure no one is close by" Alastor volunteers.

"Yes," agrees Albus, "I'm sure Genos and Saitama are tired from their travels and would like to rest."

Also, Albus feels like he might still be reeling from all that he has learnt from his guests tonight. He needs some time to come to grasps with this new reality where one person is completely resistant to magic, and the other is capable of hitherto unheard-of destruction. He doesn't know yet what this could mean in their war against Voldemort.

After receiving a report from Tonks about the Auror department, Albus ends the meeting and retires to his quarters at Hogwarts. Though he spends long hours searching his private library, he finds nothing related to any being or thing being unaffected by magic. Of course, an item could be shielded from magic, but it would still be interacting and affected by the shielding magic. 

After a restless night's sleep, Albus calls in Severus to see if he has any insights into this mystery. Maybe the Dark Arts can create such an effect, and Severus is, after all, an authority on the subject. 

"Good morning, Severus. Please take a seat," gestures Albus as he peruses a book on Ancient Magics of the Indus without much luck. 

Severus looks startled to see him so distracted. Albus fills him in about the meeting last night and Saitama's strange ability.

"I've never heard of anything similar. I would like to study this further, Headmaster. I have no pressing matters to attend to at the school today, and can join you."

"That's good to hear, my boy. I could use a second set of eyes to observe Saitama. Also, as you're an experienced duelist, you could gauge Genos' skill." 

Albus and Severus take the Floo directly to Grimmauld place and see that most of the temporary residents are finishing up breakfast. The guests are being peppered with endless questions by the children. Albus hopes that Genos hasn't revealed anything of importance to them, he needs to sit Genos down later to explain that he's trying to keep the children out of the war.

Albus accepts a cup of tea from Molly as Alastor has yet to show and introduces Genos and Saitama to Severus. 

"Genos, Saitama, this is Severus Snape, a professor at Hogwarts. He will be assisting me in studying Saitama's unique condition." 

Genos greets Severus and turns to Saitama to translate when Severus interrupts him in what sounds like fluent Japanese.

" _Hello, my name is Severus Snape. It's nice to meet you. I am a professor at Hogwarts and would like to study why magic doesn't affect you._ "

It's been one surprise after another for Albus since yesterday. At this rate, he might as well admit that he's not as well-informed as he thought himself to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thanks for reading! If you can, please leave a comment to let me know what you think :)
> 
> I'm not happy with this chapter. I can't see things from Dumbledore's perspective, not that there will be any bashing in this fic. I'll try to update the next chapter sooner to make up for this chapter. 
> 
> No idea how much damage 50 kilotons could do, or if that's possible for Genos' canons. Just took a wild guess based on the canons almost having stopped the asteroid. If you're interested to know more, here's the link:  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TNT_equivalent


	5. Chapter 5

Saitama has to admit that the food on this vacation has been excellent. The red-haired woman keeps loading his plate with some sort of sweet pancake. Seems strange to have dessert for breakfast, but he's not one to complain. He feels well-rested, probably from the very satisfying dream of some magical villain who he couldn't defeat. He hopes that dream turns into reality; it would be the best vacation if it did. 

The accommodation, on the other hand, hasn't been great. Then again, Saitama can't complain since it's free. Every room is dark and dusty. There's the weird portrait that starts shrieking when anyone makes a sound, it's probably a good thing he can't understand it. There are strange creatures around, he saw a weird kappa like creature that seemed to be muttering angrily at everyone. He even had a staredown with an eagle-horse hybrid until it bowed to him, making it the most well-mannered being (including heroes, monsters and everything in between) he's met all year. At least, he doesn't have to deal with constant questions from everyone, unlike poor Genos who's currently being badgered by the kids.

He looks up as the fire turns green and the old bearded man steps out of it with another man. He's reminded of Bang and Chatanko, and he wonders what they are up to. Not that Silver Beard here is anything like Silver Fang, and Chipunko wouldn't be caught dead with as dour an expression as Hook Nose. 

They both sit at the table and the old man starts talking to Genos, who then turns to translate, " _Sensei, this is-_

" _Hello, my name is Severus Snape. It's nice to meet you. I am a professor at Hogwarts and would like to study why magic doesn't affect you._ "

That's surprising. Saitama didn't think that anyone here could speak Japanese. Maybe he's one of those foreigners that King was telling him about, weebos or something, who obsess over all things Japanese.

" _Hello_ , _I'm Saitama. I'm not sure there's much to study, but go ahead."_

They are interrupted when the peg-legged man from yesterday walks in and starts speaking with Silver Beard. Genos had explained that he would be sparring with them today. Maybe if they finish soon, they can go sightseeing. 

Everyone in the room suddenly has something to say, especially the kids, and the red-haired doubles are having an all-out shouting match with the red-haired woman. Maybe they're all related somehow, he'd been distracted by the food when they introduced themselves. 

" _Sensei, they don't think they can transport you using magical means to the sparring site. And they are not sure it's safe for me either. The site is 50km from here. So we will meet them there_."

That's one way to take in the sights, Saitama thinks, as they head out at a brisk pace. When they reach their destination, most of the people are already there, minus the kids. This magic thing sure makes travelling easy, too bad it doesn't work on him. 

" _Genos, I think you should go easy on them, they seem quite weak physically,_ " says Saitama thinking that the free food and board might stop if Genos roughs them up too much. 

" _Restraint is the true test of strength, after all._ " 

That sounded wise and profound enough. Saitama is pleased to see Genos whip out his notebook and jot it down. He's still not sure what he's supposed to be teaching Genos, but Genos seems to be learning anyway, so he must be doing something right. 

He then looks around as Genos discusses the ground rules for the spar. There's no one about except for their small group. It looks like a decent place to have a spar. Genos and Peg Leg move away from the group as the hook-nosed man and Silver Beard sidle up to him. 

_"How do you think this will turn out," asks Hook Nose._

_"I don't know how magic works but Genos fights different types of monsters on a daily basis, each with different powers and skills, and he usually wins."_

Peg Leg starts up his light show and Genos has no trouble dodging the beams. The beams get faster, but their speed is no match for Genos once he's up in the air. He zips in and tags Peg Leg on his chest, and a red mark glows where Genos touched him. That's a sensible idea, so they can see where Genos would have struck without actually killing Peg Leg.

Genos hops back, and Peg Leg changes tactics. He starts using his surroundings to hurl huge rocks at Genos, who blasts them apart effortlessly before tagging Peg Leg's elbow. These people are not a challenge, at all. Genos is barely using a tenth of his power. Sending an S-rank hero on this mission was overkill. 

Peg Leg sends a massive jet of water that Genos doesn't deflect. Water hardly affects him. It's immediately followed by a weather spell that affects a wide area around them, and it starts freezing the water on Genos. Genos immediately dispels the ice with a burst of flames from his canons and swoops towards Peg Leg and snatches his wooden stick. It might be a wand, but the one Saitama saw on Magical Heartbeat Sisters had a star on its end. 

Why isn't Peg Leg attacking anymore? Did something go wrong?

_"Genos, did you hurt him?"_

_"I don't think so, Sensei, I was very careful."_

_"Maybe he can only fight if he has his stick, give it back quick."_

Genostosses the wand back to Peg Leg who fumbles the catch. He's probably still recovering from the shock of losing a spar in less than 5 minutes. 

Saitama turns to Hook Nose to suggest that they should probably try sparring four to one so that they have a chance of defeating Genos, except Hook Nose looks like he's raring to go. Saitama recognises that look, he used to have that same light in his eyes every time he saw someone strong. The last time he came close to feeling that way again was when he fought Boros. 

"Moody, step aside! I'll continue this duel." 

Hook Nose walks towards Genos with what feels like barely contained glee. Saitama is starting to think that Hook Nose is a lot like Lime-'n-Vodka Tonic. That's probably his name, it's too complicated to remember anyway.

Peg Leg walks back to the group and Hook Nose bows to Genos. Immediately a spherical energy shield appears around him, and he starts casting spells at Genos. He's a lot faster than Peg Leg, and Genos has to try harder at dodging the spells, as Hook Nose unlike Peg Leg, keeps moving. 

They keep it up for a while but Hook Nose flags for a second, and Genos takes the opportunity to move in, but he's stopped by the shield. Hook Nose immediately goes on the offensive and almost clips Genos with a red spell. Saitama thinks this would be over much faster if Genos could go all out, but he's not sure how much firepower would overwhelm the shield without frying Hook Nose.

Hook Nose send an avalanche at Genos and snows him under. Genos easily gets out, but Hook Nose throws a vial at Genos and blasts it. Genos fires his cannons at the liquid and the pieces of glasses before they reach him. Unfortunately, the resulting vapours affect him slightly and he starts to droop before shaking it off.

Genos starts moving in a circular pattern and gets in close enough to punch the shield. It holds for a heartbeat and then shatters. Genos steps in close, and tags Hook Nose on his arm, who now seems to be wearing a fishbowl on his head. Hook Nose smashes a vial into the ground, and it instantly diffuses into the air around both of them. It seems to be some sort of paralytic and Genos is struggling to move. Saitama can hear Genos pushing more power into his body to fight off the paralysis. He gets a hold of Hook Nose's arm and points the stick away from himself.

Hook Nose stares into Genos' eyes, and suddenly, both of them go still. That isn't a good sign, Genos never freezes mid-battle unless his condition is critical.

Saitama isn't sure what's going on. Genos' self destruct sequence seems to have activated, and he needs to put a stop to that before everything in a hundred-kilometre radius turns to ash. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saitama is just not good with names, he's not messing up Charanko's name on purpose, I promise. In case it wasn't obvious, Lime-'n-Vodka Tonic was supposed to be Speed-o'-Sound Sonic.
> 
> And I don't understand why a Potions Master wouldn't use deadly poisons in battle. Snape tries to use Legilimency at the end, doesn't work well for either of them, cause Genos is a cyborg.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!  
> Special thanks to all of you who left kudos and bookmarked this fic. Hope I continue to entertain you!  
> To No_placepart2, Foxtail9, Ghost of Stalker and Ryuugamine_shirosana: You are the best! Your comments make my day :)  
> Let me know what you think about the fight in this chapter, I'd love some feedback


	6. Chapter 6

Severus had thought there was nothing more torturous than the Dark Lord casting the Cruciatus Curse while tearing through his Occlumency barriers. It had happened only on one occasion, on the night of his branding. The Dark Lord wanted to be assured of his recruits' loyalty. He felt he'd been on the brink of madness. Now, he'd take that pain over what he's suffering through at the moment. 

He had thought he could subdue the cyborg with Legilimency if nothing else. Genos had faster reflexes and wasn't entirely affected by his potions. He'd thought that if he couldn't defeat him physically, he could do it mentally. Oh, how wrong he had been.

Severus doesn't know how Genos is sane with the memories he has. Horrifying nightmares are masquerading as monsters. People are killed brutally for absolutely no discernable reason. And every time he tries to sever their connection, he is zapped like he's holding a live wire. Severus isn't sure how that is even possible but it could be because Genos is not fully human. As he gets pulled deeper into Genos' psyche, he starts to feel the pain physically as the memories glitch like a badly edited video. It feels like Genos' mind is attacking itself, and Severus knows with absolute certainty that both of them will die. He's helpless and can only scream silently as he hurtles towards his demise.

And then there's blessed darkness as he loses consciousness. 

When he wakes, he realises he's in a spare bedroom in the mutt's mouldering manor. Wonderful, he's been reduced to alliterating. He should probably go check if Genos is alive. 

He walks into the kitchen and sees Moody and Lupin huddled in a corner. 

"What happened? How long was I indisposed?" 

"Congratulations, Snape, you almost got us all killed," growled Moody, "if it hadn't been for Saitama knocking you out, we'd all be up in flames." 

"What do you mean it almost killed everyone?" snapped Severus.

As he returned Moody's glare, Lupin answered. "Genos said you triggered his self destruct sequence that would have caused a massive explosion. Thankfully, once Saitama knocked you out, Genos was able to deactivate it. You were out for about five hours. Molly looked you over, but you might want to ask Poppy for a check-up, just to be sure."

Severus sneers at the werewolf. Sometimes he gets tired of Lupin's concerned front. Anyone truly kind would never have been a Marauder. 

"Do you know where I could find Saitama and Genos?" 

"I saw them head towards the library with Sirius after Molly and the kids left to visit Arthur."

"I've got my eye on you, Snape" threatened Moody as Severus walked out of the kitchen.

Looks like he'd given the ex-Auror one more reason to think him untrustworthy. He hadn't set out to kill everyone in a fiery explosion. Like his job as a spy wasn't hard enough without every single Order member questioning his loyalty. He'd risked more than any of them since the Dark Lord's return. 

Severus didn't find anyone in the library and finally found the three of them in the duelling room fixing it up. He spares a glance at Black who is shoring up the wards and turns to Genos who doesn't look any different since their duel.

_"I'm sorry, Genos, I didn't realise that what I did would affect us in such a way," apologises Severus before turning to Saitama. "And I heard I have you to thank, Saitama, for saving us."_

Saitama waves him off, " _It's not exactly your fault, Genos got a bit careless there."_

_Genos sheepishly nods, "Yes, I should have been more careful, Mr Snape, I apologise for hurting you. I'll be informing Doctor Kuseno about this glitch so he can fix it up, but until then you should probably stay out of my head."_

_"Nevertheless, I am sorry for invading your mind. It was only a last-ditch effort on my part to win the duel. I can assure you that not many others would use that tactic in battle."_

_"I thought reading minds was a scam",_ says Saitama, _"Can you read mine?"_

Severus is glad for the opening, " _I'm not sure, but that's why I'm here. If you aren't doing anything else, do you think we could run a few tests?"_

_"Now's fine, as long as we finish up by dinner."_

Severus nods and pulls out a roll of parchment from his pocket. Of course, there's no furniture in the duelling room. 

_"Let's adjourn to the library as it might take a few hours."_

They leave Genos with Black and get settled in the library. Severus starts with basic hexes, none of them works. Maybe he should check charms first.

"Aguamenti" casts Severus. 

Maybe he should have warned Saitama who's now wearing a deadpan expression with his soggy shirt. 

" _Sorry Saitama, I'll dry that for you,"_ says Severus as he casts a drying charm. The shirt dries up, but after a few seconds, there are wet patches on it. 

Right, drying charm works on the shirt, not on Saitama, who's still soaked under the dry shirt. He casts the charm a few more times until Saitama is dry. So magic does not directly affect him, but anything that is conjured can affect him physically. Severus tries a few more charms to test his hypothesis.

Genos and Black walk in as Saitama rescues his singed sleeve from a Bluebell flame charm. 

"You always were an expert at making people feel welcome, Snivellus," jeers Black. "Going to Crucio him next?"

"What part of magic resistant was so hard for you to understand, you mangy cur" snarls Snape. Black always brought out the worst in him. 

"Why don't you do something useful for once and find me some cursed objects we can test on Saitama?"

Severus doesn't respond to Black's angry muttering as he turns back to Saitama. 

_"Did you feel any warmth from the flames?"_

_"No, I couldn't feel anything, but I felt the heat when my sleeve caught on fire."_

That was consistent with his theory. Severus had a few potions that he wanted to test to see if they had any effect. He hands a Pepper-Up potion to Saitama first as it has a visible effect. 

" _Please take a sip of this. It is a medicine for colds and chills. If it works, it should warm you up, and steam should come out of your ears._ "

" _Cheers_ ," says Saitama before taking a big gulp. 

Severus and Genos stare for a few moments before realising it does not affect Saitama. Severus is not surprised. 

Saitama looks disappointed. " _Genos, why don't you try it? I want to see what happens_."

" _Yes, Sensei!_ " 

Genos takes a swig before Severus can stop him. He's feeling a bit paranoid and doesn't want to be responsible for another near disaster. 

Thankfully, steam erupts from Genos' ears, and Severus breathes a sigh of relief as Saitama looks on with a little envy.

" _I'm feeling a little better now. Thank you, Mr Snape,_ " says Genos as he hands him back the vial. 

Severus makes a few more notes on his parchment as Saitama pokes and prods at Genos. 

"Snape, I found a few mildly cursed objects," says Black as he hands him a small box filled with knick-knacks. "These shouldn't have any permanent effects. Though, now that I'm looking for them, quite a few items are missing that I don't remember throwing out this summer." 

"Thank you, Black," says Severus grudgingly. "I don't think you need to look further than Fletcher for the missing trinkets."

"You're probably right, but I'll check with Kreacher first," Black throws back over his shoulder as he heads out. "He's been hoarding all the old bat's precious heirlooms in a bid to save them." 

Severus quickly casts a few diagnostic spells on the box, and they show that there are only mild curses. He double-checks them because he knows the Blacks have a nasty streak and it would be just like them to conceal powerful curses behind low-level hexes. 

When they turn up clear, Severus hands the box to Saitama. 

" _Please be careful with these and touch them one at a time, they might hurt you_."

" _They all seem to have a slight glow around them,"_ says Saitama as he pulls out a letter opener. It's just a harmless item in his hands. 

" _What kind of glow?_ " asks Severus with his quill poised over the parchment. 

" _These are a mix of green and black. The bubble around the house was orange. Oh, and there was the kid with the glowing black scar on his head. I'm not sure that's good for him, he should probably have that looked at."_

Severus freezes.

Curse scars are not the same as regular scars, but they rarely act the same as a cursed object. So, going by the auras that Saitama can detect, Harry Potter is a cursed brat in the literal sense. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Endnotes:  
> In case anyone's having trouble recalling them from the first book, Bluebell flames are not the same as real flames. They can be touched without any harm and provide warmth and light. They do singe clothes and plants.
> 
> And if I hadn't made it as obvious as I thought, italics is Japanese.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!
> 
> Let me know what you think :)


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